Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
