Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you never un-have a 4some
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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