Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
