so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
