This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
