this must be what syphilis tastes like
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
