Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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