Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
did you just send me my own nude
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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