i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
