my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
