i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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