my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
His nipple licking is glorious
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