Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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