are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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