You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
sex in a hospital.. check
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
