somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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