First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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