OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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