I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
