Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
