I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
