So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
