hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
