I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
