I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
