This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
