none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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