Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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