He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
