I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Too much gin, very little bucket
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
