It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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