Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
