doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
