$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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