is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
