he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
