So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
