I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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