I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
