Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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