very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
