i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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