Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
