so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I would ride that face into the sunset
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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