What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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