My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
