Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
