So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want to be your penis for a week.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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