Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
nut hugger
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Someone signed my nipple.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
