That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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