about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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