I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
