I want to walk on stilts...naked
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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